Miss Bates

Emma is one of my favorite movies of all time....if not my favorite. (Can you believe I've never read the book!) And Jane Austen is the bomb. She is brilliant. And before I go all into a dissertation on British Literature and how my girl Jane captures the socioeconomic trends of her time while also writing to a woman's soul, let me get to the point. There is a scene when Emma offends someone publicly in front of a large crowd of people. Emma is a sweet, sensitive character with a kind and helping heart, but she was in a bad mood and very annoyed with Miss Bates. Miss Bates is not mean and doesn't say anything ugly throughout the entire scene. She's just an annoying, insecure lady. Well at one point, Emma puts her down in front of the large group. She immediately feels bad because you can see the anguish n her face, but all the same she embarrasses Miss Bates. Well, after the scene Mr. Knightley (Emma's brother-in-law and best friend/love) lays into Emma and he says something so profound. First, he reminds Emma that Miss Bates is poor. That she is poorer than the day she was born and will continue sinking into poverty until the day she dies. Then he says, "your situation in every way being above hers should secure your compassion."

Think about that for a moment. Emma was upset because she was having some issues of her own. She was jealous of the attention Miss Bates' niece was getting. She felt left out and was annoyed with Miss Bates because seriously, she is extremely annoying. How many days am I in a bad mood because I feel fat? Tired? Jealous? Left out? And how many people do I know that are so dang annoying I would rather beat my head in with a hammer than hear speak. Well, Emma has one slip. One episode of mouth diarrhea, and I don't judge her for that. But she slipped and well, she offended this annoying yet precious lady that wouldn't hurt a fly. I love love love what Mr. Knightley says. And I think all of us could learn from it. Me especially.

I have quite a few Miss Bates in my life. Miss Bates but with a mean streak! I have a few that aren't even a fraction as sweet as she is and more annoying. Take Animal Control Girl for example. She is a loser. I'm sorry. I know that's ugly, but she went after my baby and for that I'm calling her a loser. Well, I was just told that she recently gained a lot of weight. And that her parents hate her fiance/boyfriend. Hate him to the point of coming in town to stay with her yet not even speaking to him. And I don't think she has much money. Now before you go feeling sorry for her, remember she has Animal Control's number on her speed dial! Actually, feel sorry for her because that's sad. And if you ask me her life sucks. I mean, she could change a few things, as could I, but all in all it's sad. My going off on her the other day felt great. And if you ask me she deserved it and more. But my situation being above hers in every area should have secured my compassion! I have a loving boyfriend who my parents talk to on the phone! I am not rich, but Andrew and I have plenty of money and will have more in years to come. I tend to fluctuate 5 or so pounds but have not gained 30 pounds and hopefully never will. My situation is better if you ask me, and I should have had more compassion. As Mr. Knightley says to Emma, "Badly done, Emma." Yeah, badly done, Kim.

I have another girl in my life that criticizes me a lot. I don't think she even knows she does it. She makes little comments that seriously make me wanna slap her. I could put her in her place. I could make her feel as small as she makes me feel, but this time I am choosing to focus on her situation. (You got me on a good week.) I'm sure I'll mess up. I'm sure I'll snap one day. To her or to some other Miss Bates in the future, but I am really going to try and focus on people's lives. In no way do I think it's ever okay to belittle someone. To make someone feel small out of insecurity, superiority, or whatever. It's wrong and I pray God puts people like that in their place. Me included! My point being it's okay to say something to stick up for yourself, to pull them aside and say "Enough!" But it's not okay to be like them. Because the world needs less people like them and more people willing to shush and remember that hurting people hurt people.